Billie Eilish – everything I wanted
I had a dream
I got everything I wanted
Not what you’d think
And if I’m being honest
It might’ve been a nightmare
To anyone who might care
Thought I could fly (fly)
So I stepped off the golden, mm
Nobody cried (cried, cried, cried, cried)
Nobody even noticed
I saw them standing right there
Kinda thought they might care (might care, might care)
I had a dream
I got everything I wanted
But when I wake up, I see
You with me
And you say, “As long as I’m here
No one can hurt you
Don’t wanna lie here
But you can learn to
If I could change
The way that you see yourself
You wouldn’t wonder why you’re here
They don’t deserve you”
I tried to scream
But my head was underwater
They called me weak
Like I’m not just somebody’s daughter
It could’ve been a nightmare
But it felt like they were right there
And it feels like yesterday was a year ago
But I don’t wanna let anybody know
‘Cause everybody wants something from me now
And I don’t wanna let ’em down
I had a dream
I got everything I wanted
But when I wake up, I see
You with me
And you say, “As long as I’m here
No one can hurt you
Don’t wanna lie here
But you can learn to
If I could change
The way that you see yourself
You wouldn’t wonder why you’re here
They don’t deserve you”
If I knew it all then would I do it again?
Would I do it again?
If they knew what they said would go straight to my head
What would they say instead?
If I knew it all then would I do it again?
Would I do it again?
If they knew what they said would go straight to my head
What would they say instead?
Directed by Billie Eilish Developed/Edited by John Paul Horstmann VFX by Ingenuity Studios
About the song
Billie Eilish released the self-directed music video for “Everything I Wanted” on January 23, 2020. In the video, she and her brother, Finneas, drive through many scenes reminiscent of places in California, before driving to a beach and then into the ocean. They are seen holding hands as the car breaks down and starts to flood.
The song is about Eilish’s relationship with her brother as well as a nightmare that the singer had. The nightmare involved Billie “stepping off the Golden Gate and finding out that people didn’t like her as much as they let on”.
We started writing it because I literally had a dream that I killed myself and nobody cared and all of my best friends and people that I worked with basically came out in public and said, like, ‘Oh, we never liked her’. In the dream, the fans didn’t care. The internet shit on me for killing myself, all this stuff, and it really did mess me up,
the singer said.
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